Huh. So it’s all over. I’m tempted to add: ‘now, baby blue.’ But I won’t, because I know this reference will be wasted on most of you fucks out there, so I’ll just leave it at that.
Yeah.
Except: no.
I can’t. It’s all over. And that’s weird and normal at the same time. Normal, because I’ve been here many times, I mean I got my ‘dumpee member card’ and I’m one stamp away from a small diet soda, so I can’t help but feel kinda excited about it all.
But, also: weird because I thought this was gonna be it, she seemed to be the one, you know? We laughed and talked and listened to the same music and played the same computer games and we could totally nerd out while sipping good booze and we could also get real and deep, while sipping good booze. We’d watch films while sipping good booze, too. And sometimes we would just sip good booze, for the pleasure of it.
I used to call her ‘My little butterfly.’
Yeah, well… you know what? Butterflies are bugs and bugs are gross and should be anihilated like a bunch of Viet-Cong farmers doing their daily shopping in Ho Chi Minh Ville in 1967. Butterflies look beautiful and majestic from afar, but up close, they’re buggy six-legged freaks. Don’t get me wrong: a six-legged woman sounds pretty much like the perfect woman to me, but the bug part? I don’t think so. Dark and scaly and full of pus. And fucking six legs.
I shoulda stomped on her before she did the same to my heart. Don’t go all ‘awww’ on me, or I’ll fucking spit my drink in your face. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, I’m just stating a fact. The cunt was a fucking cunt and I fucking fell for her like a fucking cunt.
That ain’t poetry. It’s just honesty. So sue me. Yeah, do that. Walk up to me with your beautiful angel wings and flutter around and make me admire you and once I try to catch you, fuck off with a fucking moth. But please be aware that if I ever catch you again, I’ll shove a pin through your heart and stab you to my fucking wall, for all my friends to see: Ex-girlfriendus Cuntus, beautiful, deadly, and oh so pointless.
