Just Once

Thirty-five years walking

On this here land

And I can’t help but think...

The jobs?

They served

Their purpose and

Paid my booze, often.

My rent,

Sometimes.

My girls,

Always.

Yes, the girls,

Let’s talk about them…

I keep a stash of could-have-beens

Deep in the chambers of my heart

And the regrets are busting

The flood gates open.

Some were fond of me,

Probably.

But none will remember me

Or miss me when I’m gone.

I’ll be an anecdote, at best.

The friends?

Well, they shake my hands

And pat my back when they want to.

But when the darkness creeps up,

I am left alone to fight off

The demons.

All I have to show

Are a handful of acquaintances.

Drinking buddies,

Gossip mongers,

Happy in-love people

Who don’t have time

For a guy

Reminding them of

The realities of life.

So, what do I have to show?

Besides a collection

Of books and films I am still

Paying for?

Besides a heart bursting at the seams

And a life going moldy at the edges?

Not much.

Things could be worse,

Don’t we all know that…

But why can’t they be better,

Just for a short while

Or at the very least:

Just once?