Kriegburn & Kriegburn

“All right, Mr Kriegburn will see you now. Please remember, although this is your second interview, we by no means guarantee you employment here at Kriegburn & Kriegburn. Please follow me... Is that really what you are wearing for your second interview? Huh. Quaint. But do not worry, we by no mean discriminate against the poor here at Kriegburn and Kriegburn. If you cannot afford a suitable suit, you soon will. If  we decide to employ you that is. Please do not take what I just said as proof of employment. The final decision is to be made by Mr Kriegburn Sr upon consultation with Mt Kriegburn Jr. You are about to meet Mr Jr. He is a very fair man, you will see. Please do not mention that you bought your suit at K-Mart. I am assuming that this is where you bought it, right? Or maybe Target. In any case, it is not your fault if you do not have enough money for a proper real suit. It does not really matter, as long as you get one soon. If Mr Kriegburn wants you, that is. Wants you as in wants you to work here. Ha ha. I did not mean to make any salacious double-entendre here. This is a family-owned company for family-oriented people and any salacious comments are to be thrown out the window. Are you a salacious person? I hope not. We do not like salacious people. Oh, dear me. Here I am ranting along and poor you probably don't know what "salacious" means... You do? Well good for you! Education over money, kudos to you! Anyhoo, if Mr Kriegburn decides he wants to employ you, you will have to buy a new suit. Something more… Suitable. Something dark grey, or possibly navy. Navy is good. Mr Krieburn Sr was in the Navy, did you know that? Oh yes, he protected our country from the Kraut bastards, that’s for sure! Uhm, by Kraut bastards, I did not mean to imply that all Germans are fatherless people who eat boiled cabbage. No, I meant to make a derogatory comment against National Socialists, as I am sure you understand. Not that all Germans are or were members of the so-called Master Race. In fact, we have some lovely people working in our Frankfurt branch and I am quite sure that only a low minority are National Socialists. If that. Ha ha. No, no, we love everyone here at Kriegburn and Kriegburn. Pardon me? Kriegburn? German? How do you mean? Goodness, no: the Kriegburns have been in the good US of A for as long as the Mayflower landed here. Or maybe even before that. Columbus. German name? Kriegburn? Oh, I really doubt that. I think it's Dutch. Or maybe French, I wouldn't know. I do not partake in the pleasures of languages, but I do know what a good company is and Kriegburn & Kriegburn is that. And then some! Oh, yes. Fair and kind and pleasant. In fact, we usually do not hire poor people. I say usually because you never know what will happen during your second interview. But please, again: do not understand this as guarantee of employment. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't hope too much. I mean, again: you seem rather “un-well off”. Ha ha. I mean, judging by your “suit.” And, quite frankly, well... Your heritage might not be completely appropriate. Understand that we are an equal-opportunity company here, but we just rather give more equality to people who look a bit more... well... civilized. I am sure your people struggled much and had to endure much hardship, but that is not really Kriegburn & Kriegburn's problem now, is it?... Excuse me? Offended? Well, you'll need thicker skin than that if you want to work at Kriegburn & Kriegburn. You? What? Do not want the job? Well, now... Of course who am I to say, but if you do not fully desire employment here, perhaps you should apply at, I don't know... Maybe a fast food chain or one of those growing coffee outlets that seem to be popping up everywhere.... Are you sure? Well, I understand, of course. In fact, I believe Mr Kriegburn is rather busy at the moment. But we appreciate you stopping by... Not at all. Good luck to you. We wish you the best of luck and look forward to seeing you again here at Kriegburn & Kriegburn. Do you need your parking ticket validated? Oh, good. Because we don’t really do that…”