People

What? Come on! No. Yes… No, come on: Really. No, I love people. I love them, really. People are great. I love people, people are cool. Yes. Really. Key word here is people. And love. Words to remember: love and people. For me. Because that’s what I do:  I love people. Yes, sure, okay: all right, okay sure. I sometimes complain, but who doesn’t? I mean: come on! Yes… I’m on the bus and an elderly lady bumps into me without apologizing on her way to the exit… I let it go, I do. Because she’s elderly, she’s earned the right to be rude, really. It’s all good. If she were younger, okay, that would be uncool, I’d think ugly thoughts like shoving my ipod up her nostrils or wrapping my headphone’s cord around her windpipe… But she ain’t young, she’s old. An old cunt. A mean ugly old cunt who thinks that just because she made it to her 70^th birthday, she earned the right to step on other people’s toes. Well, how she managed to get that old without anyone stabbing her is anybody’s guess. But I digress. I’m saying it’s all good. A few people annoy me here and there, sure. But that’s normal. I’m sure even the Dalai Lama’s got some murderous thoughts once in a while, like if he’s in a queue at the supermarket and some fuck just steps in front of him. But, no: even that, I say it’s cool. Because you know who I really wanna kill in that situation? Myself. Because I am too gutless, too chicken-shit to say anything. I smile my goofy smile and actually step back to let the fuckwad step in front of me. How about that? So I don’t say ‘fuck the fucking fuck,’ I say ‘fuck me.’ And fuck my weakness and my goofy smile and the fact that I should have brought a pound of semtex to shove up this asshole’s asshole. But oh well. I also hate, no, come on: let me finish, I’m on a roll now. I also hate people who bump into me on the street and don’t apologize. What am I? Invisible? Yeah? Would I still be invisible if I was walking around with a loaded .44 in my paws? Would I? Yeah, probably not. Fuck… I don’t mean to be rude, but really: fuck. Then there’s the butcher who short-changes you, and the banker who goes to lunch when it should be your turn at his window. And there’s the waiter who thinks he’s God on Earth because he once jacked off a guy who had shaken hands with a girl who had seen Tom Cruise driving down her street. I mean: come on! What is this world coming to? I know I sound like a bitter old fart when I say this, but really: What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On? Can you answer me that? Probably not. I wanna smoke my smokes, I wanna eat my saturated fat, I wanna drink my booze, I wanna fuck whores, and I wanna snort coke. Yes, I’ll die. But I’ll die happier than the miserable vegan twats. And I’ll die faster, so I won’t have to see them, or you, or anybody else, for much longer. Because you all disgust me. I hate you all. Fuck you all. Let me be, let me live. I hate people, there is no redeeming value in us, we’re bacteria who like to argue. We’re sad and pathetic and dirty and smelly. And we bump into other people. I hate people who bump into me. I really do. And I hate meaningless talk and stupidity and poor people. And ugly people and sad people. All I have is my hate, that’s all I can give you, but brother: let me tell you, I got a shit load of it and I’m in a sharing mood. My words offend you? You think I’m a cunt? Okay, fine. I know I am. Just know that you are too, and then all will be better… There is no saving us. Except… Well, except one day I was writing an article for my paper, and I called it ‘people.’ And when I went to save it, you know what it said? It said: ‘Word is saving people.’ You think about that. Really: think about it. Oh, hell: who am I kidding? You can’t think for shit, can you?

But, yeah… other than that, no, sure, okay: it’s all good.